Traveller without a map

 Life without direction is like a rudderless boat adrift at sea, a traveler lost without a map, an arrow shot without a target, or a river flowing aimlessly into the desert. This poignant saying reminds us that a clear purpose is the compass that navigates us through life's challenges. Having a definite aim is crucial, as it provides stability, motivates us to move forward, and empowers us to overcome obstacles. With a clear direction, we can chart our course, stay focused, and achieve our goals.

Each person's inner spark is fueled by a distinct blend of interests, values, and strengths. As we navigate life's journey, our unique combination of traits influences the choices we make and the paths we take. Some individuals are naturally drawn to the fast-paced world of technology, while others find fulfillment in the nurturing arts of healthcare or education. Many more are driven by a passion for creative expression, using various mediums to bring new ideas to life. Whatever our pursuits may be, they are ultimately guided by our inherent abilities and authentic passions, which serve as a personal North Star, illuminating the way to a fulfilling and purpose-driven career.

As a young student, I had a clear vision for my future. I aspired to live a life of purpose and make a positive impact on the world. My passion for engineering drove me to pursue a career in this field, with the ultimate goal of working in a motor vehicle assembly company or as a university lecturer, focusing on research and development. I dreamed of making groundbreaking discoveries that would advance knowledge and benefit future generations. However, in retrospect, I realize that my ambition may have been naive, given my family's financial struggles. Coming from a low-income background, I didn't have the same opportunities and resources as my peers, which made it challenging to turn my aspirations into reality. My dream remained just that – a dream lacking practical pursuit. It was merely an unguided career ambition. Despite this, my experiences have taught me valuable lessons about perseverance and the importance of adapting to life's circumstances.

King Solomon, renowned for his wisdom, candidly admitted to suffering the consequences of his own folly. In his youth, he neglected his responsibilities and pursued vanity by attending to others' estates, leaving him scarred, as expressed in Song of Solomon 1:6. Although he later regained his splendor, the remnants of his earlier mistakes lingered, serving as a lasting reminder of the importance of staying true to one's purpose.

Like many people, I had inherent tendencies that shaped my behavior. One such propensity led me to abandon my high school studies without logical explanation, resulting in a drastic shift in my ambitions, aims, and goals. To this day, I struggle to understand my motivations for leaving school.

Despite my regrets, I've come to realize that dropping out might have been a blessing in disguise. Growing up with a strong will and bravery, I may have recklessly pursued the wrong path, potentially putting myself in harm's way during the war that ravaged our country. My instincts tell me that leaving school might have saved my life.

However, the lingering question of "why" still haunts me. I'm left with a mix of gratitude for the unexpected turn of events and regret for not completing my education.

I drifted through life without a clear sense of direction, like a leaf helplessly blown by the wind. My existence was akin to a boat adrift at sea, a traveler without a map, an arrow without a target, or a river flowing aimlessly into the desert. I felt lost and without purpose, as if I was simply going through the motions of life. But then, at a moment that may have been perfectly timed by Providence, I experienced a turning point. I discovered my purpose in life, although I still wonder if this is the entirety of my calling. Nevertheless, this newfound understanding has given me a sense of direction and meaning, and I am now navigating life with a renewed sense of clarity and purpose.

Despite not having a traditional educational background, I was unexpectedly hired by various organizations in roles that seemed to surpass my academic credentials. However, my thirst for knowledge had driven me to pursue numerous courses in commercial, industrial, and spiritual fields, albeit without the formal recognition of a General Certificate of Education. Interestingly, none of my employers ever requested to see my O-level certificate, and I never felt the need to misrepresent my qualifications. Instead, they all assumed I had met the standard educational requirements and had excelled in my studies. It was only when I parted ways with these organizations that I would reveal the truth, expressing my gratitude for the opportunity to work with them despite my unconventional educational background. For me, it was a testament to the divine plan that had been unfolding in my life, one that transcended traditional notions of education and qualifications.

One thing that stuck with me, though, was the realization that when I grew up, I'd need to take care of my family's responsibilities. I understood that my future salary would be my means of supporting myself and meeting my obligations. Although my career path didn't unfold as I had initially envisioned, I was still able to fulfill my commitment to my family.

History's most remarkable individuals have never been driven by the pursuit of wealth. Instead, they've been fueled by a passion for their work and a commitment to living a life of purpose. Their guiding principle has been one of simplicity and integrity, prioritizing meaningful contributions over material gain. So, I aspired to follow in their footsteps, dedicating myself to my goals with unwavering determination and humility, and trusting that my efforts will be guided and supported by a higher power, none other than the Living God Himself. And so, I never became a lover of money. 

I've had the privilege of being a source of support and inspiration for many individuals, helping them climb the ladder of success in their educational, spiritual, and moral pursuits. I'm particularly proud that many members of my extended family have followed in my footsteps, emulating my commitment to faith and values.

My children have been exemplary role models, achieving academic, professional, and commercial success that inspires our entire clan. My first and second sons have been beacons of excellence, and my only biological daughter has also made me incredibly proud.

One of the most rewarding aspects of my life's purpose has been the transformation of my extended family into a unified, loving, and communicative unit. The bonds that had frayed have been restored, and love abounds. Seeing this part of my purpose fulfilled has brought me immense joy and satisfaction.

I've taken the time to chronicle my personal history, as well as that of my extended family. Additionally, I've authored books on spiritual insights and guiding principles for living. I've also developed private software applications that includes genealogy and family quiz apps, using programming languages, which I've learned through self-directed research, without the guidance of a formal teacher or tutor.

My endeavors have been driven by a singular goal: to elevate my family, the descendants of my paternal grandfather, from humble beginnings to a middle- and upper-class standard of living. Those who have been influenced by my guidance, either directly or indirectly, have been blessed by the Lord. This divinely ordained path has brought clarity to my life's purpose, and I now understand why Providence prevented me from pursuing my youthful ambitions through formal education. In hindsight, I realize that I would have missed the unique calling the Lord had in store for me.

Although I sense that there may still be unfinished aspects of my purpose, this chapter of my life's journey brings me comfort and reassurance.

My heartfelt prayer has always been, "Lord, guide me so that I may ultimately be with You, without fail." I firmly believe that the Lord has been faithful to me throughout my journey. Like the apostle Paul, I have struggled with my own "thorn in the flesh" - specifically, angina and gout. While these health challenges have presented difficulties, I have come to see them as a blessing in disguise, serving as a restraint that has kept me from succumbing to worldly temptations and sin. In a sense, these health challenges have "disabled" me from sinning, keeping me grounded and focused on my spiritual journey. Earlier in life, I believe I had a rather passionate and impulsive nature, which was not conducive to my spiritual and moral growth. 

In deed, I recall making that bold and potentially perilous prayer, but God's faithfulness ensured that He honored my request. I pleaded, "Lord, conquer me so that you can bless me. Whenever I stray, bring me back to Your path, even if it requires Your firm but gentle hand. I acknowledge that I'm not trustworthy, but You are. Therefore, Lord, remain faithful and trustworthy, even when I try to rationalize my way out of Your plan."

Indeed, the Lord remained faithful to His promise, despite my later regrets about making that prayer. I've come to realize that the physical limitations I now face, which I refer to as the "thorn in my flesh," are a direct result of that prayer, which God chose to answer. 

For now, I remain committed to fulfilling my purpose on this earth, striving to do my best, before my time on this earth comes to an end. My heartfelt desire is that someone will pick up the mantle and continue the sacred work that has been entrusted to me, long after I am no longer here. So, help me God! 

More details in the book "Unseen Path: How God's Guidance Shaped My Life's Journey" by Jaison Ndlovu.